According to a June 26 Associated Press story, Comcast fired an employee for sleeping on a customer's couch during a house call. The company learned about its errant employee after video of the incident became a popular Internet download.

A Philadelphia apartment dweller called Comcast for service when his Internet connection encountered problems. The Comcast service rep called the company for help but was on hold for more than an hour. While he waited, he decided to stretch out on the customer's couch and catch a few winks.

The customer posted a video of the sleeping technician and told his story on YouTube.com, a site that lets users share videos; he added an Eels song with the lyrics "I need some sleep." The 58-second video has been viewed more than 227,000 times since it was posted.

The customer says that his service has now been fixed.

I think he should just be glad the cable company actually makes house calls.

You might be a redneck if... If what? Well, it's kind of hard to describe... But if a picture is worth a thousand words, then here's a whole book on how you might be a redneck...

You might be a redneck if ... this is your idea of a cabin in the woods...


You might be a redneck if ... this is the sign in front of your church...


You might be a redneck if ... this is your limo...


You might be a redneck if ... this is how to transport your ATV...


You might be a redneck if ... this is your golf cart...


You might be a redneck if ... this is your jet ski...


You might be a redneck if ... this is your favorite gun for quail hunting...


You might be a redneck if ... this is your favorite amusement park...


You might be a redneck if ... your private yaught looks like this...


You might be a redneck if ... this is your hot tub...

The bad news? Someone you know has died and you won't be able to get to the funeral... The good news? If you hold the funeral at the Star of David Memorial Chapel in West Babylon, New York, you won't have to attend in person - you can watch it live on the Internet! The chapel recently upgraded its services to include streaming webcasts of funerals free of charge... If you have an internet connection, you can watch the service from one of two angles: a panoramic view from the back or a close-up of the speaker... "There is a time frame when families want to bury someone... So instead of delaying the service, out-of-towners - or the very sick - can still take part even if they are not there physically," said Kevin Gray, co-owner of the chapel...

(Hmmmm... Is the webcase still live if the subject is dead?)

There is a formula for figuring out how bed space is allocated. It is called the "FootRule". You start by determining the total number of feet (as in those at the end of the legs, not the kind made up by inches). Then you divide that total by the number of feet belonging to the person(s) or dog(s) in question.
This is how it works:
You and husband share your bed with 1 dog. You and your spouse total 4 feet and the dog also has 4 feet. That is a total of 8 feet. The dog has 4 out of
8 feet or 50%, therefore, the dog gets 50% of the bed.

You could work this in reverse as well. You have 2 out of 8 feet or 25% and so does your spouse, so each of you gets 25% and the dog gets 50%.

Now I have 5 dogs. At 4 feet per dog, that is 20 feet. Add to that my 2 feet and we have a total of 22 feet in the bed. I have 2 out of 22 feet which is 1/11th or 9.1% of the bed. The dogs, since they share a total of 20 of 22 feet, get 10/11ths or 90.9% of the bed. Simple isn't it?!

Once I figured out my percentage of the bed space, the next step was to work out the exact area that I am entitled to. My bed is a California King which is approximately 6 ft x 7 ft. Here is the math:

6 ft x 7 ft = 42 square feet
42 square feet = 6048 square inches
9.1% of 6048 = 550 square inches
550 square inches = 45.8 total inches
45.8 inches = 3.8 total feet

In order to determine the exact size of my bed space, I needed to know the percentage of length to width - this comes out to 54% long to 46% wide. When I apply these percentages to my spot:

550 square inches x 54% = 297 square inches 550 square inches x 46% = 253 square inches
297 square inches = 24.7 inches
253 square inches = 21.1 inches
24.7 inches = 2.1 feet
21.1 inches = 1.8 feet

Now that the math's are all done, the figures show that the dimensions of my part of the bed are 2.1 feet by 1.8 feet or in other words, I sleep on my pillow.

Folks in the Wielkopolska province of Poland may first have thought something was odd about Lake Bracholinskie when the ducks waddled a little more than usual... Or maybe it was the number of people saying they felt like a little exercise and swimming sounded like a good idea... Regardless, once word got around that the clear liquid in the lake may not be water, people started coming to the lakeshore in droves! And all because a local distiller suffed an environmental accident: and accident that dumped large quantities of vodka directly into the lake! Chemist Robert Wilczynski tested the waters and determined the lake was 60 proof! "Our alcohol measuring equipment is not wrong," he said... "It recorded a level of 30%..." And while many welcome the change to the local parks, Genowefa Licha, a 76-year-old who lives near the lake, is less than pleased, saying "If God does not help us, everyone in the neighbourhood will be stinky drunkards and only a hole will be left on the site of our lovely lake..."

Soccer fans really get into the game... So if one guys cheers his team while not wearing any pants, he just wants a leg up on everyone else... But if 1000 people show up with no pants, then something else is afoot, right? Right! In this case, the fans showed up with pants sporting the logo and name of a dutch brewery, which was a problem because Fifa sold exclusive beer advertising and distribution rights to a different brewery... And, Fifa said, any attempts at an underground, ambush style advertising campaign would not be allowed... So rather than miss the game, the fans just took off their pants and were allowed into the stadium!

(One can only hope this does not catch on as an acceptable fan outfit... This sight of thousands of pantsless people in the stadium would definitely keep the TV off while the World Cup was on!)

Some say size matters... I think not... Just look at what happened in Phnom Penh, Cambodia... Officials said a mouse short circuited a power plant serving the south side of the city, resulting in loss of power to over 40% of of residents... That's 40% of 1.3 million people in the nation's capital! By a mouse! And not just any mouse - this mouse was so small it was the size of your toe!

So the next time someone says you are too small to do something, just remember: it doesn't matter how big or small you are, if nothing else you should be able to plunge large cities into darkness... :)

When it comes to attorneys, it seems that they live to argue every little point in every legal dispute... What's a judge to do? Well, Gregory Presnell of the U.S. District Court in Orlando has decided to start solving their issues the old fashioned way: Rock, Paper, Scissors!

It all started when the two lawyers in the case could not agree where to conduct the deposition of a witness... So Judge Presnell ordered a "new form of alternative dispute resolution..." And to be sure they couldn't argue of where to hold the showdown, he even told them the default location would be the front steps of the federal courthouse in Tampa!

David Pettinato, a lawyer for the plaintiff, said it won't come to that, though... He says he and his counterpart have agreed to meet June 30th at "an undisclosed location..." Which gives him plenty of time to practice with his two daughters (ages 5 and 9)... In fact, his daughters have told him to start with rock, which he says makes sense because his case is "solid as a rock!"

But don't bet on rock yet! Matti Leshem, the co-commissioner of the USA Rock Paper Scissors League in Los Angeles, says he would be inclined to be on paper... "Lawyers open with paper 67 percent of the time, because they deal with so much paper," he said... In fact, he has offered to officiate the event! "What I don't want," he said, "is some rogue element of rock-paper-scissors coming down from the bench... When the law takes rock-paper-scissors into its own hands, mayhem can occur..."

(If you aren't up on Rock, Paper, Scissors, you might want to take a refresher course... This year it's resolving legal issues... Last year it was used to finalize a business deal! And with variations including up to 15 gestures (including Dragon!), Rock, Paper, Scissors is simple enough and flexibile enough to handle almost anything!)

There's a movie coming out this summer called "Snakes on a Plane." But for Monty Coles, one was quite enough.

According to a June 3 Associated Press story, the West Virginia pilot was enjoying a leisurely flight at 3,000 feet in his Piper Cherokee when he saw a stowaway peeking out from the plane's instrument panel: a 4-½ foot snake.

"Nothing in any of the manuals ever described anything like this," said the 62-year-old man. But advice given 25 years earlier from his flight instructor came to mind: "No matter what happens, fly the plane."

Coles attempted to swat the snake but it fell to the pilot's feet, then darted to the other side of the cockpit.

While maintaining control of the single-engine plane with one hand, Coles grabbed the reptile behind its head with his other.

"There was no way I was letting that thing go," he said. "It coiled all around my arm, and its tail grabbed hold of a lever on the floor and started pulling."

The next step was to radio for emergency landing clearance.

"They came back and asked what my problem was," he said. "I told them I had one hand full of snake and the other hand full of plane. They cleared me in."

After a smooth landing, Coles posed for pictures with the snake, then let it loose.

"That snake resides in Ohio now," he said.