Signs Your SUV Is Too Big
(Small Car Jones)
• When you replaced your tires, Goodyear stock went up five dollars a share for the quarter.
• Your garage is larger than your house.
• Your kids refer to riding the bus to school as "downsizing."
• Before go you out, you have to file for a parade permit.
• It has its own gravitational field and has drawn a Geo Metro into orbit.
• It doubles as a carport for your Taurus.
• Your buddy riding shotgun is in a different time zone.
• Mortgage payment = $2,200. Texaco card payment = $2,201.
• You get a letter from Hans Blix demanding that it be dismantled immediately because it qualifies as a WMD.
• The fuel gauge doubles as a fan.