Now There's A Sign You'll Remember...
Signs can be so boring... Unless they are these signs!
Means never being alone in the phone book
Signs can be so boring... Unless they are these signs!
At 3 minutes and 4 seconds after 2AM on the 6th of May this year, the time
and date will be 02:03:04:05:06:07. This will never happen again.
Kryptonite has been found in Serbia! Really!
Miners for the Rio Tinto mining group were digging away in a mine in the Jadar region of Serbia when they discovered an odd type of rock... They couldn't identify it and so they contacted Dr. Chris Stanley, a mineralogist at London's Natural History Museum... He couldn't identify it and enlisted the help of Dr. Pamela Whitfield and Dr. Yvon Le Page from Canada's National Research Council... They had equipment that allowed him to identify the crystal and atomic structure of the mineral, but still could not match it to any known material... So Dr. Stanley kept looking...
"Towards the end of my research I searched the web using the mineral's chemical formula - sodium lithium boron silicate hydroxide - and was amazed to discover that same scientific name, written on a case of rock containing Kryptonite stolen by Lex Luther from a museum in the film Superman Returns.
"The new mineral does not contain fluorine (which it does in the film) and is white rather than green but, in all other respects, the chemistry matches that for the rock containing Kryptonite." And while it doesn't glow, he says it will fluoresce a pinkish-orange under ultraviolet light...
Unfortunately, he can't officially call it Kryptonite - international nomenclature rules would require it to be related to Krypton, a current element on the Periodic Table...
So say hello to Jadarite...
(And keep it away from Superman, just to be safe...)
I'm so happy!
I so sad...
In a relationship you just wish you could end? Can't work up the nerve to dump your partner? Perhaps you should give Bernd Dressler in Berlin, Germany a call... He operates a business specializing in breaking up relationships! For just 50 Euro (about $68 US), he'll visit your partner and break up for you! Can't afford that? Give him 20 Euro (about $27 US) and he'll do it over the phone... And this isn't mean or malicious... He asks that you provide 3 reasons for the breakup and he passes them along to the soon-to-be-Ex in a "sympathetic or direct manner"... And since he says the average breakup takes less than 3 minutes, it will all be over quickly...
And business is booming... Even though he's only been in business for 11 months, he's helped end over 200 relationships... "We have had dating agencies for 30 years," he said, "I think it's the same market - just in reverse..." And while he's found a way to make money from something people generally hate to do, there are some down sides... "I almost never get invited in for a coffee," he said...
It takes a lot to set a toilet on fire... But Toto Ltd, Japanís leading toilet manufacturer, is making repairs to over 180,000 toilets for just that! And these aren't just any toilets: these are the Toto's Z toilets... These toilets have a pulsating massage spray bidet, a power dryer, a built in deodorizing filter, a "Tornado Wash" flush and a lid that opens and closes automatically... Pretty cool - except for the fires... Apparently the bidet accessory has shorted out on almost 30 toilets in the last year! "Fortunately, nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out and there were no injuries," spokeswoman Emi Tanaka said... "The fire would have been just under your buttocks..."
(Ow! And not something I'd want to explain to a doctor!)
Actual headline from the Reno Gazette Journal: Global warming rally cut short by cold weather...
Geneva watchmaker Romain Jerome SA executive Yvan Arpa describes their latest product as "very luxurious and very inaccessible..." "So many rich people buy incredibly complicated watches without understanding how they work, because they want a story to tell," he said... "To them we offer a story..."
What story, you ask? The story of the Titanic! The watchmaker is introducing a new line of watches known as the DNA of Famous Legends, and their first watches are based on the Titanic... The Titanic DNA watches combine metal from a piece of the hull of the Titanic recovered in 1991 with steel being used in replica of the ship being created by Harland and Wolff (the Titanic's original builders)... Only 2,012 of the watches are going to be made - matching the 100 year anniversary of the ship's first voyage - ranging in price from $7,800 to $173,100 (5,770 to 128,000 Euro)...
And before you ask, these also claim to be water resistant...
(Although I'd keep them away from icebergs just to be safe)
"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
"This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to."
"Whew! Guess I left the top off the liquid paper"
"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"
"This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people."
"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"
"I was actually doing a "Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan" (SLEEP) I learned at the last mandatory seminar you made me attend.
"I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory towards people who practice Yoga?"
"Hey! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."
"Someone must've put decaf in the wrong pot."
"Boy, that cold medicine I took last night just won't wear off!"
"Ah, the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic!"
"I wasn't sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without any hands."
For 49 years, comic artist Johnny Hart has been entertaining readers the world over with his B.C. comic strip... And as his faith in Christ deepened over the years, his cartoons became his means of sharing that faith with the masses... And what a way to share! With a combination of humor and getting straight to the point, he could make you laugh while he made you think... Especially at Easter... (We've even used his comics here a few times)
Which makes today's newspaper full of good and bad news... The good news? There is another B.C. comic strip for Easter! The bad news? This will be the last one - Johnny Hart went to meet the Savior last night at the age of 76...
John Peragallo of Morristown, New Jersey is extremely lucky that he decided to drive his Zamboni... You see, back in 2005, he had apparently been drinking on the job... Drinking quite a bit too much, in fact... So much so that coworkers at Mennen Sports Arena called police because his Zambonia was speeding, weaving erratically, and almost crashed into the boards... Police said Peragallo's blood alcohol level was 0.12 percent - well above the legal limit of 0.08 - and so arrested him on a DUI (Driving Under the Influence)... His case went to trial where he was convicted and had his license revoked...
But he appealed...
And last week, Superior Court Judge Joseph Falcone overturned his conviction and gave him his license back... Why? Because a Zamboni is not a motor vehicle... Specifically, it isn't useable on highways and can't carry passengers.... So it isn't covered under the laws for DUI! Therefore, it doesn't matter if Peragallo was drunk or not, it wasn't a crime...
(Just think of the possibilities if the state tries to fix this loophole... ZUI (Zamboni-ing under the influence) is a given... But maybe they'll also go for BUI (for bicycling)... Or maybe WUI (for those walking drunks)... The possibilities are endless!)
Quick - name the world's tallest mountain! You probably thought of Mount Everest... And you'd be right - from a traditional point of view... But what if you measure distance from the Earth's center rather than height above sea level? Then Mount Chimborazo in Ecuador becomes the world's tallest mountain!
All because the Earth is not a perfect sphere... In fact, it is a oblate spheroid - meaning that due to it's rotation, the equator bulges out a little... This makes someone at sea level on the equator almost 13 miles (almost 21 kilometers) farther from the Earth's center than someone standing at sea level at the north pole...
And when you take that into account, the top of Mount Chimborazo is actually farther from the "up" than Mount Everest... All because it happens to sit near the "top" of the bulge that runs around the Earth's equator...
(And if that doesn't make things interesting enough, think about this: the bottom of the Dead Sea (the lowest place on Earth, traditionally) is actually farther from the core than the top of Mount McKinle (the highest point in the U.S!)